Nixing New Year’s Resolutions and Here’s Why
New Year’s resolutions crowd the air just as the lights from our trees begin to dim. Resolutions that are later forgotten just as the leaves on our trees turn green in spring. An aimless volley of do’s and do not's that hold little attainability in themselves. Countless studies show that 80% of New Year’s Resolutions never see the light of day. What are we missing? We shrug our shoulders and shake our heads, consoling ourselves with the possibility that next year, our aspirations will come true. But what about the rest of the year after this lost cause is realized? What happens when those new resolutions become old, unfulfilled goals? Dusty with age and decrepit with failure, they crowd into an ever-growing closet of unfulfilled self-improvements, life goals, and failed aspirations. Again, we shrug it off and continue on our merry way until the next New Year’s rolls around and we prepare our list. How much better our lives would be if we forgot this sediment, aimed higher at bringing our “resolutions” to fruition? What if instead, we chose to aim higher? Why have we created a culture so set on January 1st that we fail to make meaningful resolutions for the remainder of the year? Conscious of the effort to be mindful of who we are and how we are treating others. Taking little moments and making small decisions that bring us yet another step closer to a better version of ourselves.
One of the most splendid things about this beautiful life of ours is the ability to create anything we want out of it. While we are each entitled to our own journeys, it is only with deliberate effort that we choose to live fully. Those uncomfortable moments leading to the most rewarding experiences, allowing us to expand ourselves in ways unknown. As 2018 winds down, I realize how quickly time flies and how unbelievability easy it is to let our days pass without remembrance. The moments that can push us into becoming better, kinder humans is hindered by the tirade of to-dos that fill our days. Losing the ability to step back, reflect on our actions and remember what matters the most in our wonderful world. Coming up on yet another Christmas season, I am reminded of all the care and tenderness that goes into making Christmas a picturesque time of year. But I have also come to understand that as I have grown older, my Christmas list has become smaller because the gifts I seek can’t be bought with money.
As 2018 comes to a fabulous close, I find that my one takeaway this year is how short our time here is and how easy it is to settle for a lesser version of ourselves. Instead of creating a list of things I want to do or become in 2019, here are a few items on my radar, not just for 2019 but for my life.
1. Be Kind
“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
Kindness is one area in our lives that always needs improvement because some days regardless of how tired, stressed or plain worn out you are, it is never too much work to be kind. Beyond kindness to others is the understanding you owe to yourself. No one is perfect; everyone makes mistakes and screws up, being hard on ourselves is self- destructive. Plain and simple. Several days ago I was heading from a home inspection only to realize I needed gas. After pulling into the station, I dug around in my purse to realize that my wallet was not there. A quick memory flashed in my head where I had left the wallet on my office desk. I rummaged through the console, desperate to find some gas money. With my $1.75 in quarters collected, I knew this was as good as it was going to get. As I approached the store, I hung my head in embarrassment. The employee working smiled at me kindly and offered a few additional quarters, now a comrade in my scheme. Several gallons of gas to go, I safely made it home that evening: thanks in large part to his help and additional funds. He didn’t have to help me, and he didn’t have to be kind, but he chose to, and that made all the difference. It was a small gesture but it was the perfect reminder of how we can help each other. Be kind, and you never know where it will take you.
2. Adventure
The chance to step outside of my comfort zone, try new things even if failure is imminent. If not failure, maybe a little embarrassment! Two thousand eighteen brought about adventures both expected and unexpected for my husband and me, the opportunity to travel to locations both near and far. Laughing with strangers, walking new trails, and trying local delicacies. I loved every minute, whether we were traversing the busy streets of New York City or stargazing near Old Faithful in Yellowstone National Park. Our travels near home have been just as rewarding as those afar, filling our souls with a new perspective, a fresh start. 2019 brings all those opportunities and more if we are up for the challenge. First thing on my list is a winter weekend in our Colorado mountains in a man made yurt!
3. Mindfulness
I can almost see the eye roll as you read my final quip, of course, everyone is talking about mindfulness. Some say it is the new craze, forgetting the ancient practice was here long before our feet touched the ground. This past year I delved more deeply into what mindfulness meant to me, I stopped assuming what it meant and instead began to listen to my quiet inner voice. I learned that to me; it meant taking more time for one’s self. Sounds simple, but I struggled some days to find myself among everything our world brings our way. Mindfulness is at the forefront of my periphery, the daily reminder to check in with my true self. An act that proved more challenging than expected with cell phones, computers, and iPads abounding.
While I am boycotting New Year’s resolutions, I am turning a page, opening a new chapter of fulfillment. Yearning to become a better version of myself, focusing more on others and in turn improving myself. I will fail some days, of that I am certain. But if I take one step in the right direction, it will all be worth it.
Cheers to 2019 and all the significant, beautiful, & bright experiences to come!
- Kathryn